Happy New Year People, I like to say that my year begins in my birth month so it feels just right that my first post is published today.
You know that feeling of wanting to hold on to something even though it is not quite healthy, well that is somewhat how 2017 was for me.
Don’t me wrong, 2017 was not a bad year; there were very high points, but I had some gut wrenching lows as well.
I ended 2017 not sure of what I wanted to do with myself or where I was heading, and it’s not like I have it all figured out now (as much as I wish I did)
I knew something was terribly wrong but I did not know how to phrase it was until I listened Shonda Rhimes giving a ted talk and Eureka, I realized that “my hum was broken”.
One would have thought that, realizing that there was a problem meant that I could proceed to solving it right. Well that was what I thought too. Instead, I became really heartbroken and distressed when I realized that something was broken inside me, don’t get me wrong, I was never of the opinion that I was perfect but I at least thought I had things figured out to an extent.
I started to doubt and question anything and everything, nothing made sense anymore, and during that time, unfortunately I had people who told me directly that even my writing (which I love to do by the way) was crappy. Actually, someone said to me that my writing was cold and detached; another person told me that writing was not for me. You see as much as I love to have my work criticised, I was dealing with so much then that all I wanted was some encouragement.
Even though we are only a month into this year I feel like I have had a lot of time to sieve through things and even though I do not have it, all figured out yet here is what I know:
- No one person is enough to bring you down except you allow them to (Trust me it’s easier for me to write this than to actually put it into practice)
- It is okay to cry no matter what anyone says
- It is okay not to have it together at all times as long as you remember that not having it together is not a permanent feeling
- Leaves, Branches and Roots: People are either leaves, branches or roots in your life. Figure out who is who so you don’t mess up your tree (p.s I learnt this from Madea)
- Love is a beautiful gift: No matter how much you try, you cannot force your love on anyone regardless of how beautiful it is. Heck even God did not force his love on us. In the same vein, you cannot force someone to love you. It is futile and extremely painful.
- No matter how much someone believes in you, believe in yourself more so that when they choose to stop believing you will still be alright.
- You can find God in everything, if you can’t find Him in a particular place or situation at any point in time….pull your shoes and flee
- Make every second count.
- Watch out for big things that come in big packages: Never underestimate little beginnings, every mustard tree grew from a tiny seed
- Live, Love and Live some more: Whatever you do not stop living, loving and living some more.
Here is to making magic even with our broken hums in 2018.